Monday, March 16, 2015

Still waiting, yet inching forward...

Wow! It has been several weeks since my last post! We have been in a waiting game for the past 2 months. Many of our friends and family have been asking where we are in the process and "how are things going?" My reply was often, "there isn't much to tell, just waiting on our home study report." While my nature wants to get frustrated at the time line and think "2 months is a long time to wait for just the written report", my heart reminds me that this process is not going to happen according to my timeline. From the time we finished our paperwork, this process is completely out of our hands. I can find rest in knowing that, but I battle my nature over wanting to hurry things along.

At this point in time, I can really see The Lord teaching us patience. Patience is a very difficult attribute to have in this day and age. We live in a world of fast pace. We speed to get from point A to point B (you all know you do it, even if it's only 5 over the speed limit), we get irritated if we wait more than 5 minutes in a shopping line, we even change our dinner plans if the restaurant we choose has too long a waiting line and don't get me started about sitting in a doctor's waiting room! Let's face it, human nature hates to "wait"! I say all of this to remind myself that impatience is a love for self and a lack of faith; at least in my situation. I am not believing that The Lord is in control of how and when we will bring a baby home. I am not believing that He has called us to adopt and He already knows how this story will play out. I am centered on my own selfish desire that I want things to happen now! -oh me of little faith! The good news though is that even when I find myself here, I am reminded of the gospel. I am reminded of my undoubted need for a Savior-to rescue me from myself. Jesus has done that very thing for me, and so I can admit my faults and rest in His completed work. This adoption journey is not just about receiving a baby, it is also teaching me about my identity and who I am as an adopted child of The King! This has been what's been going on in my heart during the last couple weeks on our journey. If you follow my blog, you will read the good and the bad.  I want to be open, honest and real with this experience.

Now for the good, our home study report is finished! We are picking up our copies today and can move forward. Our next step is to send out our family profiles and apply to a few recommended agencies.
 The waiting is not over, we are entering a new waiting phase- waiting to be chosen. I know the last 2 months were only preparing us for this next phase. Waiting to be chosen is going to be an emotional time and we can very easily fall back into our selfish nature of "wanting things to happen now". Our profile book (pictured above) will be shown to pregnant women who are wanting to make an adoption plan for their baby. Oh, how I have a heart for these women, their stories and their reason for adoption; no matter why they decide to do it, they are choosing life! We will be notified of when our profile is shown. We will also be notified of the answer that may often come as- NO. This time can be short or long. It is out of our hands and so we wait!